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Volume 26, Issue 13
Published April 5, 2021

All Aboard the Rumor Train

An Update & Poem Provided by Shantil Siaperas, MACo Communications Director & Unofficial (Yet Still Official) Editor of MACo’s Legislative Update

(If you’re not interested in the meandering thoughts of a rambling lobbyist
and just want to check out the next issue of MACo’s Legislative update, I sympathize.
Click the button below for instant access to our latest issue.)

Access Latest Legislative Update Here

Happy Day After Easter! Yes, I’m back in your inbox reporting from your usual digi device, disrupting your holiday with yet another fun-filled update.

I know what you’re thinking, “Shantil, you’ve officially lost it. Yesterday was a holiday. Today is Monday, and Monday is NOT a holiday . . .”

Well, you’re wrong. Partially.

Normally your average Monday would not be a holiday. Normally. But I currently reside in Legislative Land, where normal doesn’t exist. And today IS a holiday. Why? Because the Legislature is on break until tomorrow . . . making TODAY a very fine day for a holiday.

Now, let’s get to it, because it’s very important to sleep when the baby sleeps, so this update will be short and sweet.

The Beast (HB 632) is entering the deep dark cave of Finance & Claims Wednesday (April 7th), and the state budget (HB 2) hits the Senate Floor on Thursday (April 8th), which is also “Appropriation & Revenue Bill Transmittal,” i.e., LD 67.

Along with all that action, the little newsflash birdies can be heard singing about MORE federal stimmy coming down Legislative Land’s Spending-Spreestone pipline.

Things are moving fast, and the Capitol is alive with the sound of locomotion commotion. Yes folks, the Rumor Train is full of hot steam and barreling down the LL Highway 406. Here trains can travel via highways and hallways—leaving no secret fourth floor bathroom left untouched. Anything is possible.

This particular mystical train is always on its way to Sine Die, picking up more and more commuters with each passing moment, all the while transporting us to that final glorious day.

What? Let Me Explain . . .

Notice: If you need to schedule a zoomie, make a call, or have a conversation you’ve been dreading, now is a good time to get to it. Or take a nap. That sounds nice too.

However, if you have nothing better to do
And aren’t particularly sleepy,
Then grab a coffee and a snack,
Because I guarantee you will be.

Or if you too are holidaying at home,
Snag yourself a beer, whiskey, or wine,
While I go ahead
And explain . . . via rhyme. . .

(You’re welcome . . . Or maybe, I’m sorry?)

The LL 406

A Legislative Break Poem Written by Your One-and-only Rambling Lobbyist

Easter Break has arrived
In our Legislative Land.
The halls have run silent.
All are home just as planned.

But far in the remoteness,
There is a turbulent sound.
A faint whistle can be heard,
And there’s a rumble in the ground.

Eventually, it’s Tuesday.
Breaktime comes to an end.
And we dwellers return
To our Legislative Land.

When on our way into the Cap,
What do we see?
A glittering gleaming ride,
Parked right in front, and it’s free!

“Oh, my, what’s that?”
Says a new legislator with worry.
“It’s our friend come to save us,”
Quipped a lobbyist, “Let’s Hurry!”

“Come, on!” “Let’s go!”
All suddenly quick on our feet,
Running and jumping
And skipping with glee.

We all line up,
Holding hands side-by-side,
Punching our tickets
And boarding our ride.

We chitter and chatter,
And whisper and chirp,
And with that, the engine . . .
Well, it whirls right up.

The hot air and steam
Increases its speed.
It enters the Capitol
And is allowed to proceed.

We murmur and mutter,
“They’ll gavel out early…”
“Only a couple weeks left…”
“It’s all over, don’t worry!”

Through each hall we’re carried,
Zigging and zagging,
Picking up passengers,
All our tongues wagging.

“We’re almost done…”
“The end is near…”
“Special session?”
“Did you hear?”
“It could happen…”
“Never does…”
“It could this year…”
Goes the buzz.

With each spoken word,
Its magnificence increases.
All aboard powering
All bits, parts, and pieces.

We all ride willingly
And enjoy every minute.
Little truth to what’s said,
But that’s not why we’re in it.

Our ride floats us along
The final weeks of our journey,
Supporting our frailness,
While we talk of adjourning.

Suddenly we blink,
And it’s Sine Die.
“How’d that happen?” we think,
“All that time flew right by…”

The engine roar softens,
And our tour gently winds down.
We’re delivered safely,
Back down to the ground.

With trepidation,
We gradually deboard,
Peeking around,
As one large nervous horde.

But our ride is kind,
And we’re where we should be.
The clouds part, the sun shines,
And we’re finally free.

We made it back home
To a World they call Real.
We survived the session,
Feeling dazed and grateful.

When suddenly a whistle
Breaks through the haze.
We turn on our heels,
Sending smiles and waves.

She rounds the mountain,
Over off in the distance,
The one who helped us,
Exist in this instance.

“See you next session,”
We whisper to our friend,
As she slowly chugs her way
Back to Legislative Land.

— Fin. —

And Remember . . .

If you find yourself on uneven footing during the legislative session at any time, no worries. We’re here to help keep you apprised of what’s happening on the hill. Every week until Sine Die during these trying and perplexing times, we’ll be releasing a new issue of the MACo Legislative Update (linked below and above).

Each issue always has an up-to-date session calendar, an easy-to-print bill hearings schedule for the upcoming week, and the status of bills we’re watching or in which we’re actively involved. Pro Tip: Our website’s hearing schedule will be updated daily as the week progresses and new hearings are added, so be sure to check that out. It also has links to testify remotely and/or submit written public comment.

Don’t forget to check out the bills section, where you’ll be able to follow the status of MACo’s legislation, as well as track the growing list of bills in which we are monitoring and/or actively participating.

Click the button below to check out the new issue.

For other pertinent information regarding the legislative session, visit the policy section of our website.

See you either virtually via the internet highway or in the halls!

PS: 26 legislative days remaining

(The Legislative Update is linked below.)
Questions? We Got you!

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us.

Eric Bryson, MACo Executive Director:  406-461-2084, ebryson@mtcounties.org

Jason Rittal, MACo Deputy Director:  406- 698-3255, jrittal@mtcounties.org

Shantil Siaperas, MACo Communications Director:  406-925-1134, shantil@mtcounties.org