Legislative Updates

Well, hey there MACo Folks!

It’s Monday. It’s the morning. And it’s now May. There is no happiness…nope…not one single ounce of happy anything…with only five days remaining in the 68th Legislative Session—that should’ve ended last week—it’s officially the final countdown…except none of us feel like Rocky Balboa winning his big fight. Instead, we’re all “the other guy.” All of us. Just lying in a pool of pain on the ground while spectators stare questioningly.

Even Legislators are barely standing, and it’s a miracle Legislative Staffers can put together full sentences at this point let alone hold the entire process together (seriously, thank the Staffers—they’re the golden angels of that giant stone, cold building).

Well, hey there MACo Folks!

Happy Monday! It is Monday, right? Hard to tell since every Legislative Day (LD) feels like a Monday, and the closer we get to the end, the more all the Mondays meld together into one long heated HEL(ena) day.

And what’s worse? My mind has been infected by all the maniacal hot air accumulating under the Dome, and all I can think about is adjournment…and all I dream about are election bills and property tax bills and sometimes they meld together into one giant blob of horribly written election destroying reform legislation that’s being pushed by the very folks bringing all the bills to cut property taxes except THIS bill is hiding school funding via property tax increases through veiled statutes and long amendments during transmittal deadlines…and then the evil bill grows legs and chases me around with a hot poker until eventually my head literally explodes like confetti and the confetti is made up of mini malicious baby bills that take over the Capitol…

But then I wake up. And my head is in fact NOT exploded. And it’s just another Monday. And I am sad. I am sad, because I’m losing my MIND, and I can’t separate the nightmares from the dreams, AND IT’S STILL NOT SINE DIE.

(Inner Voice: I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Inhale. Exhale. Breeeeeaaaaathe……Nope. Not working. Drink your coffee and get on with the update…)

Well hello Week…whatever Week you are…have you seen my shoes? No? How about my jeep keys? No? My vacuum-sealed, double-walled, burn-my-lips, keep-my-coffee-hot-forever, travel mug? No?

Hmmmm…

If you too have been asking yourself these questions more often lately, you’re absolutely not alone. Anyone involved with—or even standing near—a legislative session will tell you that the Dome of the Capitol Building during these 90 Legislative Days has an eerie, ethereal effect on the mind. It’s not a secret. It’s one of the many things known by all yet whispered by none.

With that in mind, and because last week I promised a special surprise, what follows is a story about a guy named Justice and a gal named Hope.

Well, hey there MACo Folks!

The Legislature is Easter Break’ing today, and because we (meaning I) sleep when the baby sleeps, there will be no long diatribe nor informational rant from me this morning. Dry those tears—I have a special gift for you next week (which includes an updated list of bills with all the recently deceased Revenue and Appropriation bills segregated into their own fun little groups…stop judging me…you’ll love it).

For now, I must do all the things that I have not done, which DOES NOT include overdue activities like taking down a Christmas tree…which I definitely already did…because I said I did, so I totally did…AND, if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be embarrassed or feel guilty at all, because…Why are we talking about this?

Well, hey there MACo Folks!

This week marks week 1 of the last month of the 68th Legislative Session, and as always, big things are happening, including HB 2 (the State’s big surplussed budget bill) hitting the Senate Finance & Claims Committee (Wednesday).

Also of significance, the House and Senate will convene this morning for all-day floor sessions to meet another transmittal deadline (watch here). They’ll have multiple boards with periodic breaks for the Appropriations and Finance & Claims Committees to convene.

Yes, folks, we’ve made it to the fourth quarter, so we expect that you can expect things to get dicey…er. So keep your smart phone charged, with one eye open and on it always—no sleeping nor blinking allowed. Crying, however, is permitted and often inevitable (always understandable).

We have a hot dumpster full of fire to go through, so let’s jump right into it…

Well, hey there MACo Folks!

How are you? Doing well? Have a nice weekend? Did ya get outside and enjoy all the…outside? I can’t really remember what’s out there…but I hear it was…weathery? With…lots of…weather? Maybe? (K. You caught me. I haven’t looked out a window recently. Since Friday. My computer provides enough light.)

Anyway, I sincerely hope the last couple of days were great…best ever…the kind you digitally capture and immediately throw on Facebook KNOWING it’ll make everyone green with the envies…Really. Good. Times.

Now, hug a loved one, grab a drink, and take a seat…because I’m about to ruin your week (and not with my super sic almost-rhymes…those are purely for your pleasure—you’re welcome).

Well, hey there MACo Folks! I’m back. [Holding for applause.] It’s been two weeks since I last visited, so where and when are we in the time and space of Legislative Land? Well, we’re still in Helena…physically.

Mentally, I’m daydreaming, which turns out is the only pleasant dreaming of which I am currently capable, since my nightly visions are filled with legislators and lobbyists living in college dorms, average folks investigating other average folks who have been investigating election security, bill drafts about property taxes, the MACo banner, and excited little puppy bears…cute, but deadly.

I digress. Returning to the latter of the two-part question, the “when are we in Legislative Land?”…Well, last week, we all sprang forward. Tomorrow Spring springs out of Winter. It’s now two weeks and two days since General Bill Transmittal sprung with joy…so that means the battle of the budget is springing into action this week.

Yep. It’s time for the State’s super surplussed budget bill to hit the Floor. So get comfy with a pillow and a glass of water. This update is about to get real dry real fast.

Well, hey there MACo Folks! This week’s update will be BRIEF. I know. I can hear the disappointment in your elongated sighs. And I’m sorry. But alas, here we are. Why? Because we’re rapidly approaching one of the most significant deadlines of the Legislative Session: General Bill Transmittal. (Cue dramatic music.)

Well, hey there MACo Folks! Last week I was in Washington, D.C., so you received a relatively short update, sweetened with a poem about Montana’s legislative process (which hopefully distracted from the fact that you received nothing of real substance…not that you ever really do—I’m here to entertain during the “dark times”).

Tomorrow is Presidents’ Day. (Happiest B-day wishes to both George and Abe—in my over-caffeinated, under-slept totally rational mind, we’re on a first name basis.) Be sure to watch the Joint Floor Session at 1 p.m. for “Formal Address Day,” where instead of Second and Third Readings of bills, we’ll be receiving updates from our Congressional Delegation and Montana Tribal Nations Chairman. Yes, it’s another holiday. And as you’ve learned by now, the Legislature does not sleep on holidays, so you don’t get to either. Sorry.

ALSO, tomorrow is the first day of MACo’s Midwinter Conference. So MACo doesn’t let you sleep on holidays either. Sorry. Again.

Unfortunately, the storm of the century is also scheduled for this week, starting today…and ending Wednesday…at 11 p.m. (I’m just “Little Miss Jolly Good News” over here.)

So, while I daydream about snowshoeing instead of legislative updating, grab the bevvy of your choice and a big ol’ snack, cause you’re in for a long-winded wild ride filled with excitement, drama, and of course, tears. So. Many. Tears. (It’s not actually exciting nor dramatic…maybe just kinda sad…you decide.)

Well, hey there MACo Folks! Because I’m Washington, D.C., this week’s intro to our Legislative Update (linked above and below) will be short and sweet…emphasis on sweet since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Sooooo, grab some tea or coffee and maybe a few little heart-shaped chocolates or a donut with pink icing, sit back in that comfy creaky work chair, and enjoy this small gift from me to you.